It’s not easy being a mother. The worry – the drama – the expectations – the carpooling. Everything is more challenging for the average mother-warrior. Even and perhaps especially, finding the familiar sense of self and style. My theory is that the minute we have a child we embrace that glorious heart-pounding new role of mother, while at the same time begin the internal struggle to stay the same person. Of course, we will never be the same; we have been elevated to a new purpose. But where does our style go and do we get it back?
The answer is yes, but it takes time and patience and acceptance. When my first child was born I was living in Manhattan, with access to boutiques filled with one-of-a-kind clothes. When I could finally get out of my overalls (as seen here) I dressed in outfits that screamed: “I am still Melissa – no baby-Mamma here!” Even though I had a baby in tow and became a master with my stroller (both on the streets and in the subway) – I did it in heels. I was determined to be me and that meant dress the way I always had. Of course, that was possible with one child. When my second child arrived and we moved to New Jersey things changed. The single stroller was replaced with a double and heels couldn’t give me the traction I needed to push! I had to re-learn how to drive and that required more comfortable clothes for getting in and out of the car. Worst of all, gone was my access to the boutiques and one-of-a-kind looks. I was now forced to select mass-marketed clothes – at least while my children were younger and until I understood the lay of the suburban land. Continue reading