Following Nicole on her journey to marriage and self-love

Nicole at her first bridal shower, with her Aunt  - feeling beautify and empowered

Nicole at her first bridal shower, with her Aunt Margaret – feeling beautiful and empowered

Let’s face it: we all have enough negative body speak in our arsenal to drag our mood down by deep degrees. We may find ourselves noticing the things that are changing about our bodies, comparing ourselves to others, and wishing things could be different; the list goes on. For Nicole, creator of Body Boop, whom I first featured on TFIO in early June, body image is an especially delicate issue, because Nicole had struggled with anorexia and bulimia for years. Fortunately, she has been in a healthy cycle of recovery for two years, but the journey is still challenging, especially for Nicole now, as she prepares to be married in September. And especially, when it comes to the fashion …

Here is an example: not long after Nicole and I spoke, she attended two bridal showers. Two showers, two different cities, two different dresses –  and only 2 weeks between. For the first shower, Nicole felt beautiful; as she says, “It was the perfect energy, though out the day.” For the second, however, everything had flip-flopped. Nicole says she felt “ugly” and “uncomfortable.” She was the same person. The dresses were similar. Nothing had changed except her mindset. Thinking about it afterward, Nicole says it was a reminder that the bad feeling you may have one moment, one day, will not last, and you will feel better again.

Last week, Nicole had her first wedding gown fitting, and it proved to be really stressful. She bought the dress a year ago, after she had been training for a race, and her body was different at that time. A year later, at this first fitting, Nicole could zip the dress, but it did not fit at the hips. Tears came, as she processed the disappointment. Fortunately, Nicole’s Aunt and the salespeople who were with her, were tremendously comforting. They reminded her that the alterations were minor, and the next time she will try the dress (in mid-August), it will fit much better. Nicole says she is looking forward to that next fitting, and to “falling in love again with her dress,” which Nicole describes as light and beautiful (“so many of the wedding dresses I tried on were much too heavy!”).

That positive feeling and the support of girlfriends whom she met during treatment, and the knowledge that her life is enriched now more than ever, with a new relationship, a new job, and even a new dog, are all Nicole needs going forward. With her blog, Body Boop, Nicole hopes to help others with their own healing. What is the message that she would like people to take away when visiting her site? “That no one is alone. Everyone feels negative things about themselves at some time in their lives. But I want people not to be so hard on themselves.” And about creating Body Boop a few months ago? Nicole says that “it’s been pretty cool to have so much community and encouragement. I have no way to explain all the good feeling. It’s very healing.”

Nicole has her second wedding dress fitting in August, with minor adjustments to follow. She will be married on September 27th, and has promised to send a picture. I am grateful to travel with Nicole on her journey to marriage and self-love!

Your thoughts?

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12 thoughts on “Following Nicole on her journey to marriage and self-love

  1. Weddings have a tendency to come along with a lot of stress! I think it has to do with the expectations which OTHERS place on our special day…as well as the expectations of what that day will be like for us. It is a moment in time which most of us have dreamed about our whole lives. With so many expectations there is pretty much nowhere to go but down! The fantasy can never live up to the reality. And we can never make everyone happy with the choices we end up making! In other words: weddings bring out the best and worst of everyone closely involved! It’s all those preconceived ideas getting us in trouble again!

    I think the #1 thing to remember is: you are (hopefully) marrying the person whom you can not even fathom spending the rest of your life without. The rest of it, all the details, are really not important. Its just a lot of (really expensive) fluff! Enter the day with an open heart and love. Whether the dress is perfect or the “right” person can walk you down the aisle (a dilemma I had because my father was deceased and everyone had an opinion about who should walk me down the aisle). Don’t get bogged down in opinions and expectations…look into the eyes of your life mate and remember WHY you are there!
    (I hope you read this Nicole)

    Much happiness and joy,
    Kylie
    20 years and 4 children later…still married to my soul mate and love of my life…after a less the perfect wedding (they played the wrong song when I walked down the aisle, my mother got completely blitzed,etc.etc.) yet it WAS perfect because I realized,with all the goofs & f-ups, that it was John and I committing our lives to each other

    • Thank you, Kylie. I will make sure that Nicole reads these gorgeous words. It is the most stressful time in a young woman’s life (I remember getting really angry with my mom in the limo on the way over to the ceremony, and feeling terrible afterwards! I can’t even remember what it was about – some silly, little thing, I’m sure.). Our pressure triggers are always there, ready to make themselves known, and in those moments, it’s important to remember, as Nicole herself says, that we are not alone. Women the world over feel the way we do. Thanks again. xx Mel

      • You must have been very stressed to get mad at your beautiful, amazing mother!!??!!
        And, I will add, we are NOT alone IF you have chosen your posy wisely (with friends like you are to me, Lissa) xxx

    • Thank you for your words of wisdom, Kylie! I am definitely marrying my best friend, so I’ll try to keep that in the forefront of my thoughts! 🙂

      Nicole

  2. Agree with Kylie, above (who said it so well). Wishing Nicole a happy wedding day, but more importantly, a life time of happiness with her beloved. I was just so very happy to be marrying my husband that I was not upset to find out that I had a perfect imprint of lip stained lips on the shoulder of my wedding dress throughout the festivities. The photographer avoided showing it & no one said a word…if you look at my wedding pictures, my smile is big and you can see how truly happy I was. Twenty five years and four kids later, after losing parents, taking care of sick ones, and dealing with all the ups & downs that life has to offer, it is even clearer about what is important about that day-it is the day you are committing to sharing the rest of your life with someone. All the rest is just fluff…

    • Thank you, Josephine, for sharing these beautiful comments about your own wedding. It will help Nicole and all the other brides-to-be to feel better about themselves and their journeys. xx Mel

  3. Nicole is beautiful!! She will be such a stunning bride! Congrats to her on this journey and thank you for sharing her story!

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